Baconsale Episode 98: Ranking Disney Princesses

Look at these princesses, aren’t they all neat? Wouldn’t you think our collection’s complete? In fact, we’re going to rank a bunch of animated female protagonists (and deuteragonists) who aren’t in the official Disney princess line. No, we’re not just basing these rankings on their looks — after all, we aren’t complete chauvinists — but attractiveness is one of the criteria on our rating matrix. We use cold hard facts, mathematic formulas and, yes, our subjective opinions to determine which of these cartoon characters are tier 1, which are tier 2 and which are tier 3.

And if you don’t agree with our ratings, please remember that no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true. Unless your wish is to change Kent’s mind. That never happens.

13 comments

  1. chidwick1 · March 20

    Most heated discussion I’ve ever seen on this was in the MTC. It was between Belle, Jasmine, and Ariel… A third of this list hadn’t been created yet though, so the results today might be different.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. chidwick1 · March 20

    Tier 1’s (in order)- Belle, Ariel, Meg, Aurora, Tianna, Cinderella, Moana.

    I tend to go for characters that I felt had more depth to them and that had good movies. Belle is and always has been my number 1, I love Beauty and the Beast. Definitely in my top 3 disney films. I’d go into each of these but that comment would end up being way too long.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Joel · March 20

      Oh, so you’re one of those Meg-is-a-tier-one kind of guys…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. chidwick1 · March 20

    Tier 2’s (also in order)- Rapunzel, Kida, Mulan, Jasmine, Anna, Elsa, Ghiselle.

    Not much difference between my top 8 overall. I loved Atlantis, I mean I was 12 at the time but I really liked the whole movie. I probably had more of a crush on the mechanic girl than Kida though. Jasmine’s attitude annoys me, and I think most people really do only like her because of her belly shirt. Ghiselle was just ok. The movie was fun, but really I’m not a huge fan of Amy Adams. I probably liked her best in this out of everything I’ve seen from her but still. Fun fact: her aunt and uncle and their family were in the ward I grew up in. Small world!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Joel · March 20

      Does that mean I should actually watch Atlantis?

      Liked by 1 person

      • chidwick1 · March 20

        It’s not as bad as people make it out to be, it’s one of the few boys movies that Disney made. Plus the Leviathan is sweet!

        Like

  4. chidwick1 · March 20

    Tier 3’s (again in order)- Jane, Pocahontas, Esmerelda, Nala, Maid Marion, Merida, Snow White.

    The first four were pretty close to tier 2’s. I’m not a fan of Esmerelda, I get she’s pretty but her movie was terrible and I don’t like it. Jane was a tough one for me on this list, I could easily flip Ghiselle and her Ranking.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Joel · March 20

      Snow White is your lowest rated princess? Really? Have some respect for your animated ancestors, man!

      Like

      • chidwick1 · March 20

        I know! I can’t mark her any higher. At no point have I ever thought that she was even remotely attractive. She’s barely a good character. I look at her movie like a nice oil painting. Yeah it’s a masterpiece, and how they made it is incredible. But watching it once is enough. There’s a reason they haven’t made it’s remake yet. The disney yokels that pine for the remakes would realize how terrible these live action remakes are.

        Like

  5. Joel · March 20

    I, Joel Hilton, being of sound mind and body, would like to make an official amendment to my rankings on this episode. After watching the movie Moana this past weekend, I have adjusted the title character’s ratings. Moana is now a Tier 1 princess. This means, however, that Jasmine has been demoted to a Tier 2. Deal with it.
    Also, I would like to officially change my #JacobTwist vote from Ariel to Esmeralda at the end there. You know what I’m talking about.

    Liked by 1 person

    • chidwick1 · March 20

      I love the movie. Moana is an awesome princess, and the more I find out about what disney put into this film the more I have hope they can still make really great original movies.

      Like

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