Look at these princesses, aren’t they all neat? Wouldn’t you think our collection’s complete? In fact, we’re going to rank a bunch of animated female protagonists (and deuteragonists) who aren’t in the official Disney princess line. No, we’re not just basing these rankings on their looks — after all, we aren’t complete chauvinists — but attractiveness is one of the criteria on our rating matrix. We use cold hard facts, mathematic formulas and, yes, our subjective opinions to determine which of these cartoon characters are tier 1, which are tier 2 and which are tier 3.
And if you don’t agree with our ratings, please remember that no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true. Unless your wish is to change Kent’s mind. That never happens.
Be our guest and listen to our review of the 2017 live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast. Kent tagged along on Joel’s date with his wife to see the movie — or Joel’s wife ended up using Jacob’s ticket, depending on your perspective — and we are ready to give our spoiler-free and spoiler-full review of the latest Disney cash grab.
Is Emma Watson the Belle of the ball? Did we shudder at the Beast’s performance? Does anyone bite like Gaston? Press play and find out!
Come As You Are and listen to Baconsale’s battle of 90s alternative bands. And while some of you may be saying Good Riddance to the grunge era, Kent, Joel and Jacob have been Desperately Wanting to do this for a while. We had So Much to Say, which is why this episode runs Everlong. And we don’t mean to give you the Run-Around, but we don’t go The Distance this episode. This is only part one Round Here. It’ll be One Week or so before we finish the tournament. We had Good Intentions, but we had to let it Linger.
So Come Out and (press) Play on this latest episode of Baconsale!
It’s time for Baconsale to discuss one of the most anticipated movies of this weekend — Kong: Skull Island! Well, we actually spend most of the time discussing other movies and subjects, but there is a King Kong review mixed in there somewhere. Listen as Kent and Jacob explain the movie to Joel, who didn’t see the movie, and struggle to stay on topic.
Have you heard of this podcast called Baconsale? It’s this cool, out-of-the-way podcast not many people know about. Anyway, Kent, Joel and Jacob — totally obscure guys — are the hosts and, in this episode, they’re discussing films you’ve probably never heard of. Well, they’re hoping you’ve never heard of them, because they’re each recommending four films to you. Why four? Because three and five are so mainstream.
Below are the movies they recommend in the episode. If you want to know why they think you would enjoy these films, you’ll have to press play and listen.
KENT’S PICKS: Red Riding Trilogy (2009) Song of the Sea (2014) The One I Love (2014) Fish Story (2009)
JOEL’S PICKS: Waking Ned Devine (1998) The Fall (2006) He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (2002) Steamboat Bill, Jr. (1928)
JACOB’S PICKS: It Happened One Night (1934) Kingdom of Heaven – Director’s Cut (2005) Rope (1948) The Rundown (2003)
It’s time for us to discuss how we did on our Oscar predictions back on Episode 94. We’ve made sure we have the right envelopes and aren’t letting Warren Beatty or Faye Dunaway anywhere near the results.
So sit back, eat some Junior Mints and enjoy this BaconBit!
Oh no! The DC Extended Universe is in trouble! Who can possibly save them? Wait! What’s that on the airwaves? It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Baconsale!
Kent, Joel and Jacob are ready to discuss the current woes of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and the rest of the DC Extended Universe. Then they brainstorm what DC can do next to battle against the money-making machine of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. They suggest directors, recommend actors and they even pitch ideas for future movies — well, Joel pitches ideas. Kent reads his entire original screenplay.
So press play and, if you’re a studio executive from Disney or Warner Bros., we’re willing to discuss any offers you may have for us. Money offers. For our amazing ideas.
It’s time to put on our snooty film geek hats and try to predict the winners of the 89th Academy Awards. Kent, Joel and Jacob (Jackie?) have done some actual research and are going to discuss who deserves the Oscar for Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director, Best Picture and, yes, Best Documentary Short Subject! We do our best to keep things interesting for those of you who don’t care about the Oscars, so we’ve even added some music clips, an “In Memoriam” section and plenty of pointless, yet stupid facts.
So print out your own Oscars bracket below, press play and join us as we make our 2017 Oscar predictions!
Love is a many-splendored thing, so it’s time for Baconsale to discuss this enigmatic emotion with our good friend, Dr. Matthew Woolley, Ph.D. And while you may think that all you need is love, Dr. Matt is here to tell us what is love and how to differentiate it from infatuation and/or drug use. We also talk about Valentine’s Day, romantic comedies, love languages, social media, discarded chocolates and what happens when a man loves woman. Things may get real at times, but then Kent rubs Joel’s shoulder and everything just gets awkward.
So press play and remember that everything we do, we do it for you, The Listener.
Okay, Listener, rise and shine, and don’t forget your booties ’cause it’s cooooold out there today! We’re talking about winter in this episode. Kent, Joel and Jacob each share their memories of past winters and discuss their favorite/least favorite things about the season of snow, frost, ice, parkas, sledding and inversion. Kent leaves a friend to die in a snow cave. Joel is an arrogant winter walker. And sassy Jacob goes to extreme measures to prevent frostbite.
So grab your favorite blanket, curl up by a warm fire, sip some hot cocoa (NOT WASSAIL!) and enjoy this latest episode of Baconsale.