Look at these princesses, aren’t they all neat? Wouldn’t you think our collection’s complete? In fact, we’re going to rank a bunch of animated female protagonists (and deuteragonists) who aren’t in the official Disney princess line. No, we’re not just basing these rankings on their looks — after all, we aren’t complete chauvinists — but attractiveness is one of the criteria on our rating matrix. We use cold hard facts, mathematic formulas and, yes, our subjective opinions to determine which of these cartoon characters are tier 1, which are tier 2 and which are tier 3.
And if you don’t agree with our ratings, please remember that no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true. Unless your wish is to change Kent’s mind. That never happens.
Be our guest and listen to our review of the 2017 live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast. Kent tagged along on Joel’s date with his wife to see the movie — or Joel’s wife ended up using Jacob’s ticket, depending on your perspective — and we are ready to give our spoiler-free and spoiler-full review of the latest Disney cash grab.
Is Emma Watson the Belle of the ball? Did we shudder at the Beast’s performance? Does anyone bite like Gaston? Press play and find out!
It’s time for Baconsale to discuss one of the most anticipated movies of this weekend — Kong: Skull Island! Well, we actually spend most of the time discussing other movies and subjects, but there is a King Kong review mixed in there somewhere. Listen as Kent and Jacob explain the movie to Joel, who didn’t see the movie, and struggle to stay on topic.
Have you heard of this podcast called Baconsale? It’s this cool, out-of-the-way podcast not many people know about. Anyway, Kent, Joel and Jacob — totally obscure guys — are the hosts and, in this episode, they’re discussing films you’ve probably never heard of. Well, they’re hoping you’ve never heard of them, because they’re each recommending four films to you. Why four? Because three and five are so mainstream.
Below are the movies they recommend in the episode. If you want to know why they think you would enjoy these films, you’ll have to press play and listen.
KENT’S PICKS: Red Riding Trilogy (2009) Song of the Sea (2014) The One I Love (2014) Fish Story (2009)
JOEL’S PICKS: Waking Ned Devine (1998) The Fall (2006) He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (2002) Steamboat Bill, Jr. (1928)
JACOB’S PICKS: It Happened One Night (1934) Kingdom of Heaven – Director’s Cut (2005) Rope (1948) The Rundown (2003)
Oh no! The DC Extended Universe is in trouble! Who can possibly save them? Wait! What’s that on the airwaves? It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Baconsale!
Kent, Joel and Jacob are ready to discuss the current woes of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and the rest of the DC Extended Universe. Then they brainstorm what DC can do next to battle against the money-making machine of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. They suggest directors, recommend actors and they even pitch ideas for future movies — well, Joel pitches ideas. Kent reads his entire original screenplay.
So press play and, if you’re a studio executive from Disney or Warner Bros., we’re willing to discuss any offers you may have for us. Money offers. For our amazing ideas.
Love is a many-splendored thing, so it’s time for Baconsale to discuss this enigmatic emotion with our good friend, Dr. Matthew Woolley, Ph.D. And while you may think that all you need is love, Dr. Matt is here to tell us what is love and how to differentiate it from infatuation and/or drug use. We also talk about Valentine’s Day, romantic comedies, love languages, social media, discarded chocolates and what happens when a man loves woman. Things may get real at times, but then Kent rubs Joel’s shoulder and everything just gets awkward.
So press play and remember that everything we do, we do it for you, The Listener.
Let’s leave 2016 behind us, shall we? It’s time for Baconsale to look into the future and talk about what we’re excited for (and what we’re dreading) in the year 2017. During this episode, we recap our predictions from last year, and then we discuss which movies we’re excited to see this year. We also predict celebrity deaths, TV shows that will be rebooted and the sexiest man alive. Plus, Jacob and Joel do their best to get Kent to Hulk out and be the villain, and we have a lively debate about the sound Wolverine’s claws.
Press play and see what this new year has to offer you!
Hello, our name is Baconsale. We think that M. Night Shyamalan’s new movie Split is good, but not as good as his last movie, The Visit. nO! We’rE wRoNG! sPLIT IS BEttER THAn tHE vISIT! eSPECIaLLY THAT PART WHERE jAMES mCaVOY BEGINS TO CH- No! No spoilers! At least not for the first 13 minutes. And, even then, let’s not give away any major spoilers so that The Listener can enjoy those parts like we did. cAN wE aT LEAsT saY ThAT If yOU LIkE sHYAmALAN’S OLd MOViEs LIke UNBREAKABLE, sIGns AnD thE sIxTH sEnSe YOu’LL PRObAbLY LIkE ThIS onE? Yes. We think we can say that.
We’ve recovered from the Amish incident in our last show, and we’re ready to begin Baconsale season three! And, once again, we’re starting off the new season with our best and worst movie picks from last year. Kent picks movies that were released in 2016, and Joel picks movies that he watched for the first time during the past year, which may or may not include films actually released in 2016. It’s fun for the whole family (except when Kent is talking about The Neon Demon) on this episode of Baconsale!
This is a rebellion isn’t it? We rebel. And we’re also ready to review Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Will this spin-off of the franchise set between the prequels and the sequels win the hearts of Kent, Joel and Jacob? Or will Baconsale want to charge up the Death Star and obliterate the tale of Jyn Erso? There’s only one way to find out (or two, if you count Kent’s review on Radio Ronin) — click play now!
The first 11 minutes are SPOILER-FREE! We even reigned Kent in with his plot descriptions for that part.