Baconsale Episode 80: The Fearamid (Part 2)

We’re finishing off the final few categories of the Fearamid, which includes things like phobias, creepy locations and even Kate Beckinsale. Then it’s time to create the ultimate Fearamid! We’re taking the top fear from each finalized pyramid and comparing them to one another. Is Pennywise the Clown scarier than a tsunami? Is a spider worse than demonic possession? Will a shark be declared the most frightening thing ever without discussion just because Joel and Kent seem to wet themselves whenever sharks are mentioned?

Take a deep breath, press play and find out. The final Fearamid begins now!

22 comments

  1. crewdutler · October 24, 2016

    Heights- Specifically heights in my car I hate driving over tall bridges or roads with a steep drop off. Claustrophobia – I once got stuck for about 30 seconds trying to turn around in a very tight tunnel in nutty putty caves.
    Germs –
    Needles – I don’t like them but not scared of them
    Confrontation and Public speaking – I’m a lawyer’s I wouldn’t be good if I was scared of either of these.

    Meat Dogs! That was my band’s name in College

    Liked by 2 people

    • chidwick1 · October 24, 2016

      Heights takes this one. It’s not even close… I have that phobia.
      Needles
      Claustrophobia
      Germs
      Confrontation
      Public speaking… that doesn’t bother me at all.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. crewdutler · October 24, 2016

    Rotting Bridge – the heights is a big factor here.
    Nighttime Ghetto
    Haunted Warehouse – the suggestion and imagination drive the fear higher.
    Cave – it’s dark and the possibility of getting lost or stuck.
    Graveyards – totally not scary but I guess slightly scarier than woods
    Woods at night – I do this all the time when I camp.

    Liked by 2 people

    • chidwick1 · October 24, 2016

      Woods at night and Bridge are my top two… can you imagine being on a rotting bridge AT NIGHT?!?! Terrifying.

      Haunted Warehouse
      Ghetto
      Cave
      Graveyard… unless it’s actually haunted like the Ogden Cemetery the it moves up the list to number 2

      Liked by 2 people

      • Joel · October 25, 2016

        A rotting bridge, at night, in a haunted cave in a bad neighborhood.

        Like

      • chidwick1 · October 25, 2016

        With Pennywise on one side of the bridge, Samara on the other, and you’re 100 ft up from Shark infested water, with Leatherface riding a great white!

        Like

  3. crewdutler · October 24, 2016

    Had to stop listening last night because sleep. Now to finish:

    Wake Up Situations
    1 – Covered in Blood with Dead Body next to me – The dead body is the kicker that would freak me out even if I wasn’t covered in blood and that just compounds the fear. What happened? Did I do it? Did someone else? Are they coming for me next? What is going on?
    2 – Hooded Figures – Not just because of the hoods, but because they are in my room. Somebody broke into my house and I have no idea what is going on, where my family is, or what happened to them. So much fear there, but so far, death is no in the picture like in the first one.
    3 – Pillow on Face – That’s scary, not at first though because it could be someone you know playing a joke, but as I struggle and the pillow remained, I would get mad first before I got scared.
    4 – Spiders hatching and swarming – Like Joel, I can just get up and brush them off. It’s more of a temporary freak out than a fear
    5 – Open Grave – This would mostly just be confusion and then trying to get out. The fear would only come if shovelfulls of dirt started getting thrown in, but that would be a good thing because then you can just keep dodging the dirt and climb out as the dirt level rises.

    Liked by 1 person

    • chidwick1 · October 24, 2016

      1-Hooded figures… I get up at least once a night thinking I’ve heard something in the house and walk around ready to fight… Honestly all the options here would result in me beating someone up/ trying to kill something.
      2-Covered in Blood, dead body adjacent.
      3-Open Grave: this is the least advantageous scenarios to fight back. Whoever is up there, has a shovel and the height advantage. I’d probably grab a handful of dirt to throw in their eyes and see if there was a rock around.
      4-Pillow on face: I’d think it was my wife pulling a prank. If I found out it was malicious, I’d kill them with the pillow.
      5- Spiders: Not afraid of spiders. I’d just walk briskly away.

      Like

    • Joel · October 25, 2016

      I’m glad you and I share the same apathy about waking up in an open grave, Drew.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. crewdutler · October 24, 2016

    Beckinsale Fears – All of these were pretty lame. The law suit would probably be the scariest though.

    Like

    • crewdutler · October 24, 2016

      Here is my attempt at drafting some Beckinsale fears in no particular order:

      1 – You did a lot of yardwork in the morning and got really dirty and sweaty but before you showered you ate several street tacos and a few bean and cheese burritos so you are feeling particularly gassy, when all of a sudden Jacob pulls up at your house and says, “Get in the car! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all morning, hurry up!” So you get in the car, no questions asked. He drives you to where you record the podcast and explains that Kate DM’d him on Twitter saying she had an extra hour in SLC and wanted to be a guest on the podcast. So, you are dirty, sweaty and about to release some major chemical warefare, and you are unprepared for a Kate Beckinsale podcast, but it is going to start in 5 minutes.
      2 – You are staying at a hotel when through some hilarious hijinks, you end up locked out of your room in the hallway, when all of a sudden Kate Beckinsale walks out of the elevator. You know it’s her, but she hasn’t seen you yet, but she is about to turn your direction and you have nowhere to run.
      3 – You get hired for a small part in a movie with Kate Beckinsale. You have no lines you’re just on the set in the back ground. But then at the last minute the director decides to change the script and adds a scene where she kisses a random stranger and the director points to you and tells you she is going to kiss you and make out with you for about 15 seconds, and you have to kiss back completely weird, like with weird sounds, extra drooling, etc. That’s all the direction you get then he says, “ACTION”.
      4 – You wake up in bed next to Kate. You don’t know how you got there. You don’t know what happened in bed, but there are signs that it wasn’t so family friendly (unless you are starting a family with Kate), and she is still asleep.
      5 – Back to actually doing a podcast with Kate, but you both are actually clean, there’s no gas, in fact, you have both been quite charming. So charming in fact that she starts making passes at you. She drops increasingly not so subtle hints about taking things to the next level.

      Liked by 1 person

      • crewdutler · October 24, 2016

        I went back and re-read my scenarios and realized I left a key fact out of scenario number 2 – and that is that the hilarious hijinks lead you to be locked out of your hotel room NAKED!

        Also with number 4, you look at your phone and see several text messages from your wife asking where you are.

        Like

      • Joel · October 25, 2016

        I was wondering about scenario #2. Didn’t seem that bad.

        Like

  5. crewdutler · October 24, 2016

    I’m with Kent, I feel like you are giving Pennywise too many powers and changing the scenario. The scenario is Pennywise is in an abandoned house pointing at you from the window. He hasn’t changed form he isn’t chasing you yet. He’s just in the house pointing. What is the initial fear quotient at that moment? If he changes, that is no longer a fear of pennywise, but a fear of spiders or sharks, etc – not a fear of pennywise.

    Possession
    Pendulum Blade
    Leatherface
    Samara
    Tightrope
    Giant Spider
    Pennywise
    Tsunami
    Shark
    Hooded Figure
    Raft in Ocean
    Haunted Warehouse

    Plus, you guys are still way too scared of sharks.

    Liked by 1 person

    • chidwick1 · October 25, 2016

      Samara
      Pendulum
      Tight Rope
      Leatherface
      Tsunami
      Pennywise
      Raft
      Shark
      Haunted Warehouse
      Hooded Figure
      Giant Spider

      In the end, a spider is a spider, they’re not intelligent and can easily be outsmarted. The pendulum blade is horrifying… Edgar Allen Poe was a genius/psychopath. I wish he had been born 100 years later, can you imagine the films he could have made? Samara is horrifying. I don’t get scared easily and she left me near sleepless every time I saw that movie. Loved that movie, it had a great story and… gah I’m freaking myself out just thinking of her.

      Liked by 2 people

      • chidwick1 · October 25, 2016

        I forgot possession! It goes 3rd. I would never want to experience it. I can’t even imagine the spiritual experience of sharing your body with an evil spirit that has control over your body… horrifying.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Joel · October 25, 2016

      Hey, Sharks didn’t even make the top 3, Drew.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. crewdutler · October 24, 2016

    BTW – I have to commend Jacob. I liked this type of vs. While I called your Beckinsale fears kind of lame, I think you did a pretty good job otherwise. And, you were pretty fare when you had to choose between Joel and Kent, even though Joel and Kent were way off base in their analysis.

    Liked by 2 people

    • chidwick1 · October 25, 2016

      Did Crewdutler just give Jacob a compliment? Hold on, I gotta check the skies for aerial swine.

      Liked by 1 person

      • crewdutler · October 25, 2016

        I have to give credit where credit is due. I laughed out loud several times during this episode, and I am grateful there was no mention of the HC in this episode.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Drew · November 2, 2016

    Heights, or my kids who aren’t afraid of heights and love to go right up to the edge?… I’m terrified of heights, but even scarier is my kids’ lack of fear/respect for them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • crewdutler · November 8, 2016

      I’m with you. I was at the cliffs of insanity in Ireland and I had a hard time moving off the path nearer the edge – I actually had to crawl out (thankfully we didn’t have our kids with us). But what scared me more were the people with no fear of heights carrying their small children and babies near the edge. Even if they weren’t that near, I pictured them tripping and their kids tumbling out of their arms down the into the cold atlantic ocean.

      Like

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