Baconsale Episode 84: We Ate Everything at McDonald’s

Ba-da ba ba *burp*, we’re lovin’ it?

Yes, it’s true — Baconsale has taken on the task of eating every single item on the McDonald’s menu. Our fast-food quest took us a few months, and lightened our wallets while expanding our waistlines, but we’re finally ready to rank and categorize all of the breakfast, lunch and dinner selections from the world’s most popular, most profitable and most controversial restaurant chain. So whether you love McD’s or hate it, you can enjoy our comedic breakdown of such favorites as the famous McDonald’s French fries, the Big Mac, the Egg McMuffin, the Chicken McNuggets and the elusive McRib.

Thank you for being a listener of Baconsale, you can now press play and pick up your supersized episode at the second window!

65 thoughts on “Baconsale Episode 84: We Ate Everything at McDonald’s”

  2. So I can give some Supply Chain perspective on why Mcdonalds is getting rid of the customizations and why they did all day breakfast. Basically about two years ago Mcdonalds felt like they had too much on their menu and started cutting less profitable items off their menu. Mcdonalds has an average profit margin on their menu of 30% that they are really really proud of. So they officially discontinued the Spicy Chicken sandwich and some other items that weren’t necessarily selling poorly, but that took more to make. Apparently the breakfast items are really profitable so they opened it up to be an all day menu item (which I know they say people were raving for it but… everyone I talked to about it had more of a WTF reaction than a “I’M SO EXCITED THIS IS ALL I’VE EVER WANTED” reaction like Mcdonalds marketed it as.)

    Mcdonalds could crush every other fast food place if they wanted to by improving their food quality. They have the resources and could make their food great, but for some reason instead of that they come up with ideas like “you know what people would LOVE?! All day biscuits that are so hard you could kill someone with them”. A 30% profit margin on food is not a good reason to make crap. I still love their food, in small amounts… actually scratch that, I love their dollar menu. Also, Mcdonalds in Hong Kong is great, and the food is a lot better than it is in the U.S. A companion and I ate Mcdonalds at least once a day for an entire week (really an 8 day stretch, except we didn’t have any on Sunday) and I didn’t feel awful.

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    2. Well it is… ish. The Franchise model that Mcdonalds has adopted lends itself to some locations having specials or certain items on their menu for different lengths of time than others. They don’t sell them here in Michigan. I ordered one once and the kid had no idea what I was talking about. They still have them in Utah but from a corporate level they don’t sell them anymore.

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  5. Carl’s Jr. has the best Spicy Chicken Sandwich is the best of any fast food restaurant. Mcdonald’s held that title when they had the Buffalo Ranch Spicy Chicken, but then they discontinued it. I loved that sandwich, I was really really bummed when they cut it.

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  6. I’m going to echo an idea my buddy Spencer Myers tweeted to you guys about, Jacob’s comments brought this to mind, how about tiering fries? I’ll gladly donate to that tiering episode and buy you guys some fries.

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      3. This website really needs an “edit comment” button, right? Its cool. Just wait until you accidentally “like” your own comment. The guys will never let you live it down.

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    2. Sounds disgusting right? Can you imagine a pizza being covered with the quality of cheese they put on the burgers?…. It may not have been chuckie-cheese bad, but it definitely wouldn’t be much better.

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    3. What about the Onion Nuggets? I actually think those could be pretty good. I mean they’re basically Onion rings without that awkward “I just pulled all the onion out of the crust on the first bite and no have nothing but greasy breading to eat” moment.

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  8. Kent you’re crazy fit saying McGriddle is the worst. It is genius. I think the syrup pockets aww made with crystallized maple syrup chips mixed into the batter. Anyway, it used to be my favorite but I have to say that the egg muffin has moved back to the top again.

    Btw… You made me stop at McDonald’s on the way to work this morning to get breakfast. Thanks Baconsale.

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    2. I like them, the sauce isn’t too bad. I will say I like the Arctic Circle Ranch Burger more than the Big Mac. I will say they’re overrated but not that overrated. Overpriced definitely.

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    1. Yeah and I never get shout outs. Is it cuz I’m not even good at anything? It’s because of my crazy comments on the Star Wars episode huh? I thought I ended that pretty civilly… I did kind of come after Emily though, so that’s fair. haha

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  12. Joel, as you were talking about best McDonald’s locations, I was thinking in my head, “He better be setting this up for talking about the Porto McDonalds.” GO PORTO!!! It is the best McDonalds ever. When my parents came to pick me up at the end of the mission, it was one of the first places I took them to. And it’s not just the restaurant, but also the location on the Praca da Republica. It’s so nice.

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    1. You Porto missionaries and your luxuries. I don’t remember ever eating McDonald’s, only Tele Pizza. Had plenty of that though… Pizza com molho, cogumelos, cebolas, carne , bacon, e extra queijo!

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      2. Oh, I had plenty of TelePizza too. That was good pizza. Have you listened to the Baconsale pizza ranking episode? They don’t rank TelePizza of course, but when I asked Joel, he said it ranks as a Tier 3 pizza. It is most definitely at least a high tier 2, but I would even say tier 1. Where did you serve? and when?

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      3. Ha ha… a tier 3?.. I guess I can probably agree with Joel on that… seems like I ate some pretty weird chorizo or other “meat” on my pizza’s sometimes, but as a missionary I didn’t care much. Yeah, I heard that episode – Awesome! Baconsale is one of my go to’s at work.

        So I served in the Lisbon North Mission back in ’96 – ’98 (President Clegg). I think I was such a “good” missionary that after I left they ended up combining Lisbon missions. (wait, isn’t that usually the other way around?) Great time! Strange how such a small period of time can change the rest of your life.

        What’s funny is the more “foreign” food I ate was in Kentucky while I was waiting for my visa. What in the world are chitlins anyways?

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      4. A good friend of mine served in Lisboa Norte. Chad Case he was in Lisboa while I was in Porto 98-2000, so you may have just missed him. I just remind people that while there are now 2 missions in Portugal where there used to be 3, there are still 3 missions covering the same area since Cape Verde is its own mission now. BTW, we had to have a luxury McDonalds in order to make up for the fact that Porto didn’t get an island chain as part of it’s mission.

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  13. Also, I loved the part where Jacob was totally Kent, and Kent was totally Joel talking about the fries.

    And Kent, the ice cream does not have pig fat or pig lard in it. You can go to their ingredients list and see that, thanks for spreading urban myths. Oh, and the fries are in fact made from real potatoes not potato powder as Jacob suggests.

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    1. I always have trouble keeping track of who is the Kent, the Joel, and the Jacob. the pig lard is a myth, but the sawdust burgers are real right? Jacob worked there so he’s got to have some crazy stories. I heard the egg that they put on the breakfast sandwiches makes a lot of employees there never eat those sandwiches again. I had a couple of friends talk about it. Something about a giant tube of egg.

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    1. 1,000 points to Crewdutler!… gold star?.. I don’t know what but this comment is so on point it deserves an award, maybe a Dundee or something. I do like the brown phlegm sweet and sour sauce. It looks disgusting but it tastes pretty good.

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      2. Was it ever radioactive red colored? I feel like Wendy’s and Burger King do that but Mcdonalds has always been brown…. I want a 20 piece mcnugget so bad right now. I love those things. Mcdonalds nuggets are the best IMO.

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    1. My deepest condolences.. the Bacon egg and cheese Mcgriddle is pretty awesome though. I’d say it’s an ok trade. I mean you’re probably getting diabetes on top of the heart disease but it tastes so good.

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  16. McDonald’s brings on childhood memories for me too, Joel. We would eat there a couple times a year and we’d each get a happy meal. I took my kids there once and my second son freaked out at the top of the playground and I had to climb in there and get him. The playgrounds just aren’t made for adults.
    We don’t really go there now but I will get ice cream and sometimes breakfast but I just prefer other places. My kids would actually rather go to Arby’s. I may have also scared them away from wanting to go there after having to climb in those tiny tubes.
    Oh and did you know you can buy the happy meal toys separately? I’ve done that a few times.

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      1. But then they’/ have to eat a hamburger from there and half of my children hate hamburgers. It’/ why we go to chic fil a and a hamburger place to make everyone happy. My kids are spoiled.

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  17. My favorite McDonald’s story: Pulled into the drive through with a co-worker. Before we could talk the employee had a script to get through: “Welcome to McDonalds. Would you like to try our DELICIOUS McRib”? He really emphasised the “Delicious”.

    There was an awkward 5 second silence and then ALL of us, including the employee through the speaker, started laughing so hard none of us could make any progress on the order for about 30 seconds.

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  19. Funny episode! Continuing the theme of the best McDonalds and the best food, the McDonalds in Paris and France (Versailles) have macarôns!!! Macarôns!!! I was just there, ordering macarôns!! And they are goooood. European McDs are more swanky than ours! Not fair! I hope to someday check out the McD in Portugal, that sounds amazing with the statue and chandeliers! I will do a shout out for the McD right by Opryland in Tennessee. It has amazing music memorabilia all over the walls and little displays dedicated to historical music artifacts. I really enjoyed wandering around in there, although all we got were ice cream cones. Not sure about the food.
    WMAC, a McDonalds Radio Station

    While the food isn’t the best, I still haven’t had too bad of dining experiences at McDonald’s, until recently. Just this past year, I ordered a chicken sandwich from a McD in Mesa, AZ and it didn’t even taste fully cooked. It tasted raw and slimy and not even very hot. It was so awful. It was so weird because it had taken them 10-15 minutes to even bring it to me. And it wasn’t busy, it was the off hours. Maybe they just forgot and then tried to nuke the crap out of it fast.

    Since i was watching my girls play in the play place, which is one of those cool two or three story ones, I didn’t feel like leaving them unsupervised to ask why my sandwich was so gross. I lost my appetite anyway. I threw it away and I don’t think I’ve eaten at McD since, about a year ago. We prefer InNOut and Chick-Fil-A anyway.

    I loved the old play place at the McDonalds by the Layton Hills Mall. That made me happier than the Happy Meals. It had those old toys that you could climb inside and climb up (like the hamburgler prison) and the spring horses. But it also had those weird brick walls at kid level, a pony wall. Wacky story, I had a roommate in California who had actually smashed her face on one of those brick walls, and McD took responsibility for it. It required a nose job for her early on in her life and some plastic surgery and since she was so young, they also payed for another nose job later (when she turned 18) to reconstruct her face. Isn’t that crazy!? I think that’s a reason why they did away with those weird brick pony walls right at kids level. Fortunately for her, it did damage but not too much, she still is very beautiful, but isn’t that weird to have had a nose job at such an early age? But it was needed. Sounds very painful!!

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    1. I remember that PlayPlace! And, yeah, I think injuries are the reason they shut those down and brought about the indoor plastic enclosures.

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